I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Randomize
