I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
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