This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
