i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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