May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Randomize
