just survived the first fart of the relationship.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Randomize
