Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
