Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
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You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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