Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
