you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
