fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
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