Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Randomize
