You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize
