I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
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