you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Randomize
