Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
vagina is talking i cant
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
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