Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
