Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
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