There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize
