i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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