you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
