Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
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