I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Alive.
So much puke
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Randomize
