dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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