Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
