My boss' voice literally gives me gas
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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