Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
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