I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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