What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
Even my vagina gasped.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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