so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
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