I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Randomize
