help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
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