We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
