It's like God shit irony all over that family
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
