He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
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