Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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