I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
