no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
She even gives head with a lisp.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
I see more hoeing in ur future
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