she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Randomize
