they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
