She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
