Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
So. Much. Porn.
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