Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
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