I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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