i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Randomize
