Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
