I wanna bring you to show and tell
Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
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