I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
