There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
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