dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
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