So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
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Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
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The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
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