took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
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