if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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