I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
You pole danced in your parka.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Randomize