You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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