exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
Life is so much better after having sex.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Randomize
