She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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