Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
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