And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
