Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
North Korea, Best Korea!
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Randomize
