just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize