I cannot find my penis.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
