my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
I have tasted many bathrooms
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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